Self Storage Units, Danbury, CT. by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel and JeepersMedia on YouTube. Found on Flickr; licensed under Creative Commons. Not the storage unit referred to in the following story.
Have you struggled to deal with a deceased parent’s possessions? Have you ever kept things in storage for far longer than originally planned? Then you might resonate with the following story I read on a mailing list a few days ago (and which was later expanded upon in a private email); I’m sharing it here with the author’s permission.
I've had numerous clients who went through similar experiences, and I thought it might help others dealing with these challenges to know they are not alone.
After my mother died seven years ago, I put a bunch of furniture into storage with the intention of getting it reupholstered or otherwise using it “within two years.” Two years passed quickly, followed by some other events that delayed action — a move, multiple renovations, surgeries, etc. — and for the next five years, I “visited” the storage once or twice a year to check on things, but immediately got overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with it all and walked away without doing anything.
Then, in November, I got a notice that the monthly storage fee would be jumping from $110/month to $250/month, so I knew I had to act. I put “figure out storage” on my action list and, since that is a terrible, unfocused, non-action Next Action, I did nothing for two months.
So I changed my next action to “Visit storage to make an inventory,” the first step toward making a plan of action. I wasn’t busy yesterday, so I drove out to the storage place with the intention of just inventorying — I told myself I didn’t have to “do” anything beyond that.
Visiting storage with that small goal in mind took so much pressure off that I was able to view the situation much more clearly. I was soon sorting out things I decided to donate, and within a couple of hours, I’d loaded up the car twice and made two runs to Salvation Army. Then I went back and got a load to bring home with me.
Now, I have a plan. It will take a few more visits — and a session with a rental van to move the big stuff — but I have some clarity on what I’m doing. Weather permitting, I should have it all done by the end of the month.
I realize now that I’m in a different place emotionally than I was seven years ago — or even one year ago. When I rolled open the storage door yesterday, I didn’t have the emotionally charged or sentimental reaction I’ve had before. Where I once saw my mother’s things that I felt responsible to maintain, now, I just see “stuff” that I want to get squared away.
Seven years is a long time to pay for storage, but before I kick myself too hard for wasting money, I’m trying to keep in mind that I was going through something, not just being lazy. Expediting that process would have been helpful (and saved a lot), but that’s not how it went. Time to move on.
The funny thing is now that I’ve made some progress, I want to get it all done as fast as possible. I can’t tell you how frustrated I am that a snowstorm predicted for this weekend is going to slow my roll for a few days. I don’t want to lose my momentum on this!
I'm glad to hear that the writer was able to be gentle enough on him/herself that the emotional work of letting go could happen. It's amazing how quickly the logistical work of then getting rid of the "stuff" clicked into place!
ReplyDeleteJeri, Thank you for sharing this author's experience.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has only had to use storage facilities during moves and who has historically had a dim view of them, I have a new appreciation for a role they might play in a process such as this one.
I also appreciate how the author demonstrates the power of taking just the next step. Projects become so much less overwhelming when we allow ourselves to only focus on the next smallest step. Often as she demonstrated, the traction from taking the one step can often be enough to build the momentum to keep going.
Nice to be reading your posts again!